The Long Road to Discovery: Solving Robert's Family Mystery

Towards the end of 2019, I was scrolling through Facebook late one night when I came across a post that caught my attention. A man named Robert was searching for help to identify his maternal grandfather. He was desperate and willing to accept assistance from anyone who might offer it. I reached out, explaining that I was still new to DNA sleuthing and learning the ropes of helping people reconnect with their birth families. He didn’t care... he just wanted answers.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that Robert also had a search angel working on his case. I told him to keep quiet about my involvement and to feed them the information I discovered as I pieced things together. We began working closely, tackling the complicated web of DNA matches and family connections. We had so many late nights searching through American, Panamanian, and Colombian records along with trying to verify DNA matches. It was a struggle but because of this, we became friends.

So I was working his case secretly while the search angel was doing her best. At one point after about 2-3 weeks, Robert’s search angel told him there was both good news and bad news. The good news? He had been right about his maternal grandfather being Colombian. The bad news? She didn’t have enough information to determine exactly who the man was. She added that his grandfather would have been half Dutch as well which made no sense to me with what I could see in the DNA matches and the family tree I was building.

Robert was confused. He questioned the search angel, “So you’re saying he was Panamanian and Dutch? Are you sure?” He began texting me, frustrated and venting that this woman seemed to "not know what she was doing.” She explained that since New York City was colonized by the Dutch, his grandfather’s lineage could be part Dutch and part Panamanian-Colombian. The contradictions between what Robert and I was seeing in his DNA results and what the search angel was saying left him questioning her competence. Still, I urged him to give her grace. This wasn’t an easy case, and even experienced researchers could hit roadblocks.

Meanwhile, I worked late into the night building out Robert’s family tree. I traced his maternal DNA lines and quickly realized that the Dutch ancestry the search angel kept focusing on was part of a different grandparent line we already knew. When Robert pointed this out to her, she finally got on the right track... though she remained a few steps behind us.

Remember, I was still very new to DNA research. I lacked confidence in my skills, and I was learning as I went. Robert, however, trusted me. He used his Spanish-speaking skills to reach out to relatives, gathering information I wasn’t able to extract myself. One day, he returned with a hand-drawn family tree that felt like Christmas morning to me! This new information helped solidify my suspicions within this family tree on where Robert and his momma belonged. I told Robert what to tell his search angel regarding the new information.

Despite these breakthroughs, the search angel seemed stuck. She told Robert she was working on other cases and checked out for several days. When she returned, she claimed his case probably wasn’t solvable with 184 cM DNA match as his highest match. I had already landed on the name of a suspected birth father and placed him in New York at the time Robert’s mother was conceived. Robert shared the name with the search angel, but she remained focused on the Dutch connection, completely missing the bigger picture. Robert was growing more frustrated.

Finally, he told the search angel, “My mom’s dad is from Panama and Colombia. Can you talk to Aimee? Maybe she can explain what’s going on here.” I stepped in and broke down the Dutch DNA lines were actual to the maternal line and how the paternal matches fit into the common ancestor I had identified. It was a complex case involving an inflated DNA match that resulted from a niece-uncle marriage... a detail that made the puzzle even harder to solve. The highest match at 184 cM was the grandchild to that marriage.

I sent over visual diagrams, highlighting the connections with green checkmarks, red X's, DNA symbols, placesholder images, and showed exactly who I suspected Robert’s grandfather was. We had narrowed it down to four brothers, but my gut said it was most likely Jose Apolinar. At last, something clicked for the search angel. After looking at the images I sent, she finally understood. Robert, always quick with a snarky comment, couldn’t resist asking, “Make sense now?” It made me chuckle.

In the end, the search angel admitted, “You’re way better at this than me. You did a great job.” It felt amazing to hear that, especially since I had been so unsure of myself when we started.

Robert reached out to Jose Apolinar, and DNA testing confirmed what I suspected.. Jose was his maternal grandfather. What none of us knew at the time was that Robert would only have four short years to spend with his newly discovered grandfather. During those years, Robert formed a deep bond with Jose and his large, welcoming family. He listened to Jose’s stories about growing up in Panama and adjusting to life in the United States. Jose shared memories of being a car guy, fishing, gardening, and living in a home made from mud bricks. Since reuniting with him, Robert has embraced his heritage, discovering where he comes from and strengthening his ties with family in Panama. He has already visited twice, deepening those connections, and now, his next adventure awaits... traveling to Colombia to explore even more of his family roots.

And then came one final surprise. About a year after Robert found his grandfather, a new match popped up on 23andMe... another unknown child. It turned out that Jose Apolinar had fathered a son who had been placed for adoption. This newly found son's daughter took a 23andme test and found herself realted to a huge family.

This case was one of the hardest I’ve ever solved, but it taught me so much about persistence, teamwork, and the power of DNA to uncover hidden family stories. This case also brought me a life long friend who is eager to learn how to help others as I helped him.

In loving memory of Jose Apolinar Ceballos. You are remembered and missed every day.